Now we are in Haiti. In many ways this doesn't feel like home. It is so different than what we are used to. There are people in and out of our house each day because the aunts come to and from work, and every day someone different comes to eat at our table or chat with us on the porch. But it is home in a way, also. It feels right, like we are supposed to be here.
In a discussion with Jadyn the other night she said that Haiti feels like home now. Where is our home? People often ask us that when they come to volunteer. How do we answer? When people say "are you coming home sometime soon?" they are usually asking if we are coming to the States. Haiti is now our home. That might change, but for now, it is home.
Many of you have lived in the same area for most of your lives. You are settled, you plan to stay, you have roots. Others of you know what I am talking about. You have moved many times, you know that God might call you to move again, you feel restless at times.
I do not like the restlessness. I have dreamed of feeling "settled" for many years. I feel like in a way I have been waiting for that my entire adult life. Desiring marriage and a family....waiting for that. Getting married but having a husband in seminary....waiting for graduation and then our first church. Feeling so grateful to be in Lake City, but then after several years, feeling God's preparation to move on to something different but not knowing what that was and praying for several years. Now we are in Haiti....for how long? Is this home? Is God preparing us again?
I think God uses this to keep me close to Him. To keep me praying and seeking. To keep Dan and I talking about God's plan and to keep praying together. To focus more on Him than being satisfied in a "home" here on earth. To think about heaven and all of the people we have met and how awesome it will be to be reunited someday. Hebrews 11:10 "For he was looking forward to the city that has foundations, whose designer and builder is God."
I have not lost hope that someday we will buy a home and settle down....and then go around and visit all of the people we love! I am not saying in any way this is wrong. I just think I need to learn that it is not the most important thing. The most important thing is to honor God and worship Him wherever I am at the moment.
One of the songs we used to hear on the radio in our home in Lake City was Building 429: "Where I Belong". The chorus goes like this:
All I know is I'm not home yet
This is not where I belong
Take this world and give me Jesus
This is not where I belong
Or you can listen to the whole song here.youtu.be/he32vwlKQPY
Someday we will truly be HOME. And if you know Christ as your Savior you will be there also. So much joy, celebration, singing, and praising The Lord. I am looking forward to that, but at this time I will focus on The Grace House in Lagossette, Haiti, where He has placed me for now.