A Post from Jadyn: Sweeter than Honey

Psalm 19:10

More to be desired are they than gold,

even much fine gold, sweeter also than honey,

and drippings of the honeycomb

A few weeks ago, my dad called the "bee man" (we can never remember his real name because we always call him the bee man) to come take the bee boxes and do whatever he wanted to do with them. The bees were supposedly gone, so what good was a bunch of empty bee boxes? Anyway, the bee guy came, walked out to the boxes and came back to tell my dad that we had "anpil siwo" (alot of honey)!

So my dad gave him a large pan to collect the honey into. "Non, non, bezwen anko vesso" (No, no, i need another container) So he went out to collect the sweet honey, returning with at least a gallon of honey! We all gathered around the big containers of honey to watch as they squeezed the honeycomb to get all of the thick, sweet honey out. We ended up with alot of honey, and everyone got some honeycomb to chew on! Here are a few pictures! 

Sweet and sticky!

                                         

                                                            Proverbs 16:24
      Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.

We all got a turn to help

The "Bee man"

One of the large bowls of honeycomb

Proverbs 27:7
One who is full loathes honey, but to one who is hungry everything bitter is sweet.

Will You Pray With Me?

My heart has been burdened lately.  

We think often about the children in the Grace House and their future.  It is always on our minds.  We have prayed for it so many times.  We had a volunteer group that came recently paint Jeremiah 29:11 on the wall of Fritzlin and Loudena's bedroom.  "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for wholeness and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope."  We pray for the other children at COTP that are waiting on their adoptive families also: the children of the Joy House, the special needs children, and the other children in the baby house that will not be returning to their biological families.  Many of you know that the first goal here is to keep families together.  That is not always possible and then the children begin their wait.  The wait always seems too long.

I long for the children that I have grown to love and even the ones I hardly know to be placed in their families.  Their parents should be experiencing the giggles, the new words, the singing, the jumping, and even the mischief.  Their siblings should be running and playing and fighting and laughing with them.  We know and we believe that God has a plan for these children.  He knows what their future holds.  We trust him.

What I would like to propose is a month of prayer.  31 days of intentional prayer for these children to be matched with their families.  For the adoption process to move quickly in Haiti.  For the people who are in charge of the process both in the North America and in Haiti.  For paperwork to process without difficulty.  For people to feel God's tug on their heart to adopt.  For peace for the children while they wait and also for those of us who wait with them.  

These children are so precious!  Will you pray with me?

One Year

One year in Haiti.  Some days it feels like we have been here for much longer, and then others it feels like the time just flew.  The Lord has taught us so many things and we still have so much to learn.




We have had so many new experiences here!  Our life is so full.  It is difficult to sum up our year because we have had so many thoughts and emotions.  We will try to give a quick summary.

Our family has adjusted to Haiti in many different ways.  Some of us have been quite sick at times, and others did not experience much sickness at all.  The heat has been hard to deal with for all of us.  The past few months have been cooler at night so that has been a huge blessing.  To feel a cool breeze is a wonderful thing.  We know that many of you have experienced a very cold and snowy winter and long for warm weather, but we often long for a little cold and snow.    When we see pictures of snow, sometimes we just want to dive in it!  It is difficult to be away from precious family and friends.  We miss so many people and are very homesick at times.

We have, of course, grown to love the children we care for in our home.   We have a very difficult time thinking about saying goodbye to them so for now we are focusing on loving and caring for them and later we will prepare for those moments.  We care deeply for so many of the other children on campus in the Joy House, the baby house, and the other international staff children.   We have experienced death and so many children returning to their Haitian families or going to their adoptive families.  These goodbyes are often bittersweet and not without tears.   It has been such a blessing to us as parents to see our biological children really loving the Haitian children in our home and forming strong bonds with them.  It is not always easy to live with nine other children, but they are all doing quite well, even in the trials.  Some of them claim to want to stay in Haiti forever and some of them would like to go to visit America tomorrow.  We process these feelings often, and continue to pray for God to make things clear for our future.

We also have grown to love so many others.  The women that work in our home are so dear to us.  They put up with us day in and day out.  I have said here before that some days I long to be in my own kitchen by myself or to not worry about cooking for anyone else but my family, but I love these women and they have become like family to us.  They care for us deeply, and we for them.  So many other dear friends here, both Haitian and international.  It is hard to imagine that we didn't even know most of these people one year ago.  They have become so precious to us!

We have experienced a huge range of emotions here in Haiti.  Some days we just wanted to "go home".  We are overwhelmed and exhausted and irritable and frustrated.  Then there are the moments like this morning.  I walked Zion Hope, Fritzlin, and Loudena to preschool and we all held hands and sang all the way to their class. To see these precious children singing and loving one another makes me smile.  Or the times when we return to the home after being gone a few minutes or a whole day and have children pouring off the porch with arms open wide yelling "mama....papa"!   We have laughed often....how can you not when you live with six toddlers?

We have cried over the probable death of one of the women who worked in our home whom we loved, and also over so many other things that grieve our hearts.  Friends who might not eat some days, people without homes, death in families both young and old, sickness.  And there are days when we don't see the hope.  We have cried because we long to be in our comfort zone once again in Michigan.  There are days we are so glad we have come.  The relationships we have been so blessed to have, the people we have met, the ways we have seen God work in our children and in us.

There are many people that know The Lord and walk in truth here in Haiti.  There is also spiritual darkness and voodoo.  Our desire is to speak the gospel whenever possible and to be willing and ready to speak truth to anyone.  We love that many of you have made it possible for us to hand out Bibles to many of our Haitian friends and acquaintances.

We would love your prayers!  That God would direct our steps in the coming year and that we would know His will.  That our children would be at peace with living here for now, and an uncertain future.  That we would have wisdom and discernment in each situation that we are faced with each day.  That our Haitian children would be matched with their adoptive parents soon and that those adoptions would process quickly.  That their hearts and our hearts would be prepared for those transitions.  Most importantly, please pray that gospel penetrates hearts and that many people will come to faith in Christ.  Thank you!

Refreshed

As many of you know, we took a break this past week.  We were feeling tired, overwhelmed with the responsibility of the ten children in our care, and needing some time to enjoy our immediate family.  We had some difficulty deciding on where to go due to some problems with traveling in certain parts of Haiti right now, so we ended up staying fairly close to our home in Lagossette.  We have been to the beach several times, but have never stayed the night.  It was beautiful, quiet, and a huge blessing to our family.

We decided at the beginning of our time that Dan and I would each spend at least one hour of "special time" with each of our children during the week.  It didn't seem like it would be difficult with four days to do it in, but that is ten hours outside of the family time, meals, naps, and sleeping and we got it in, but just in the very last minutes of our stay!  Even though we try to do some of this at home, it was really fun to do it  in this environment.  I played basketball, volleyball, swam, watched the sunrise, had coffee drinks or cokes, read, journaled, and hunted for crabs.  I loved hearing their hearts on things and being able to just look one child in the eye and not have to worry about anyone else at that time.

When we weren't spending time with one child we were hanging out with the others, laying on the beach, swimming, taking walks, reading, and eating two meals a day that we didn't have to prepare!  Dan played several games of baseball with the boys, which they all enjoyed.  We also met some people and were able to talk to people from several different countries.  I wanted to share some photos, and then I have a few more thoughts to share!

I wanted to share a few things that made me think about our time here in Haiti while we were on vacation.

First, on our first dinner there at least two of the children commented that they miss having dinner like that as a family.  We all eat "together" much of the time at the Grace House but as I am sure you can imagine, with ten children and six of them being toddlers, there isn't a lot of conversation being had around our table.  It usually entails a few "don't do thats" and "eat your food" and crying and spilling and requests for more and refusals to eat.  Not real conducive to a family chat.  I am glad that they miss it, because Dan and I do also.  We have resolved to attempt to have a family dinner more often and really sit and chat with each other.

The second thing I have thought about happened at dinner, also.  One of the children commented on how they missed one of our Haitian kids, and it was only the second day we were gone.  They all began to talk about all of the children and tell funny stories about them and guess as to what they were doing at that time.  Sometimes I get stressed about how many kids are in this house and that I don't spend enough time with any of them.  I think about what my kids might be missing out on because we don't do as many things with them as we would like to.  Never once have any of our children complained about us having to deal with so many needs with our Haitian kids.  They have never said that it would be easier without them.  I attribute that entirely to  God's grace.  They have parents who get stressed and overwhelmed, yet they have never blamed that on the other kids in the house.  They love them and spend time with them and miss them when we are away from them.  I know that it will be very difficult to say goodbye to each of these precious children, but I am so glad that ours have had the opportunity to love and care for them.

Now that I think about it, every one of the things I have been thinking about began with our eating together.  Jadyn commented that she felt a little awkward eating so much during dinner when she didn't know if the Haitian people serving it to us had anything to eat in their homes.  I had just been thinking the same thing.  It has led me to so many thoughts about our place in this country and how we help and how we cause others to want, and what God wants us to do about that.  I don't want to feel guilty when I enjoy good food, and I do not think we should.  I also do not want to take it for granted and I want to share and give when appropriate.  We struggle every day with this issue and people ask us for help for things that are worthy at least once per week.  How do we help?  What is helpful?  What help hinders? How do we offend when we don't understand the culture?  What about the women that work in our home?  What about our friends that live outside our gates?  What do they REALLY think of us?  I ultimately believe that it only matters what God thinks and what He wants us to do, but Dan and I have wrestled with that over and over and haven't come up with an answer that fits each situation, yet.  I have a feeling we never will during our time on earth.  Right now I am grateful that my daughter noticed this and thinks about it.  I don't have any pat answers to give her, but I am grateful for her exposure to these people and that she will begin to wrestle with this, also.

This is what we do know.  We are in Haiti because God called us here.  He made it clear that we should come.   Our responsibilities lie with our children and the Haitian children placed in our care.  Deuteronomy 6: 4-7.  "Hear, O Israel:The Lord our God, the Lord is one.  You shall love the Lord you God with all your heart, and with all your soul and with all your might.  And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart.  You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise."  We are also responsible to live out the gospel every day.  Display the fruit of the Spirit, talk about what Jesus did for us to those we meet, pray with and for our Haitian friends and for this country and our native land, also.  Micah 6:8  "He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God."

A Date!

Dan and I went on a date tonight!! When we lived in the States we tried to be intentional about getting out together and focusing on our marriage every so often.  It is more difficult to do that here, but it is getting easier, at least for a while.  We have a young lady named Bailey at COTP right now and one of her roles is to help with the children of long term volunteers.  I get to homeschool two mornings a week without a toddler...something I have never done in all my years of homeschooling.  It is a blessing.  She is also giving us a date night once a month....another major blessing!  As we drove and talked, I had wished that I had taken my camera.  So many sights I can pay more attention to when we don't have children or a full vehicle of people.  I will try to give you a short snap shot of our date, despite the lack of pictures.

We rushed around to get ready to go out so that we could leave early enough to be back around the time it gets dark here, which is around 6 or 6:30pm.  We had forgotten to ask for a vehicle, so quickly emailed and found out we could take one.  Something we didn't have to worry about before Haiti!  Then I chatted with Bailey about babysitting.  She could take our kids somewhere or she would need to be here with all ten kids and the aunts.  She decided to stay here, so that meant she needed to make food for thirteen people.....a volunteer group had left us a huge package of Ramen, so that was what I suggested would be easiest.  Not the healthiest, but what can you ask of someone willing to take on the craziness of our house?

Then I went to chat with the aunts about us leaving and they were both in the rooms napping with the babies.  I decided instead of waking them, I would just go find Jadyn and ask her to explain it to them later.  Details, details.

After being informed that our vehicle had changed, and chatting with a few people about a phone that didn't work and some other things, we were off. The roads are difficult to describe.  So incredibly bumpy and rough, you feel like you need a massage after just a few minutes.  We used to ride in the back of vehicles though, so really grateful that we were in a really nice vehicle with padded seats!  On our way we saw many people walking their cows and goats home...and one cute little guy who seemed to have lost his shorts, but was faithfully plodding along with his three goats.  We talked about the things we love about Haiti...the slower pace of life the Haitians seem to enjoy, the beauty of the countryside, the lack of materialism in many ways.  We passed through a few small villages and people often wave hello.

  As we neared Cap Haitian the traffic picked up and we noticed different things.  People pile on motos, on tap taps, and the back of trucks.  There are virtually no traffic laws.  There are people everywhere selling things from fruit and vegetables, fresh meat hanging from trees, clothes, shoes, wood, metal, water, etc.  

We arrived at our restaurant ready for a nice meal and conversation, just the two of us.  We ordered pizza and a cheeseburger....how is that for American fare?  We enjoyed being able to talk uninterrupted for a whole hour.  We talked about our life here and what it would be like to go back to the United States.  We discussed our children and how difficult it will be for them to say goodbye to the Haitian children that are in our care right now.  Dan loves to ask me to rate things from 1 to 10, so we did a little of that regarding places we would like to live.  It is interesting to listen to mostly Creole being spoken all around you.  Fun to try to catch what people are trying to say, but mostly I just pick up words I know and can not follow quickly enough.  No eavesdropping tonight!  The food was great and the company even better.

We left the restaurant with plenty of time to get home before dark.  However, traffic seemed to be especially busy tonight.  We sat still several times, but it just made it easier to watch everything that was happening all around us.  People arguing with police officers directing traffic, a man stepping out in front of our vehicle like he owned the road, a teen on roller blades who I was sure was going to get hit as he wove in and out of tap taps and motos.  We talked about the difficult things in Haiti while we rode....the things people face, the difficult living conditions, the heartache.  

Once again, we traveled the bumpy, puddle filled road home to Lagossette.  A few men had gotten a late start in herding their cows and goats home for the night, and several people watching traffic, as we often see.  We made it home a little later than we expected, but everyone seemed to have survived.  We worshipped together as a family when we returned and the children piled on our laps and fought over us as if we had been gone for days.  As I cleared my bed of laundry while getting the children ready for bed, I noticed a dead spider.  One less bite I will get as I sleep tonight!  It is good to be home. 

Futbol

One thing we have enjoyed doing during our time here in Haiti is attending many "futbol" or soccer games.  There is a field right across from the road from COTP so we go there often, and we have also traveled to a few other villages to watch friends play.  Before Christmas a tournament was planned for adult males and teams played every night for about two weeks.  Our aunts and children love to go also, so almost every evening several people from the Grace House could be found at the soccer field.  One thing we have learned is that the games rarely begin when they say they will begin, so you have to try to guess when is the right time to go so that you aren't sitting around waiting for the game to start, but you don't miss most of the game either.  Gabe is now our resident "check the status of the game" guy and he runs up to the field to report to us whether the teams are there or not.  

The week between Christmas and New Years another tournament began.  This tournament was for boys ages 10 to 20.  Yes, quite an age gap.  Gabe was asked to play on a team and he was so excited.  He became diligent with his practice, and would play with anyone who would play with him, including our aunts.  

The day came for his first game and we were told it would begin at 5 pm.  We were on a walk with some friends and some boys from his team came to find us, saying it was time to play at around 3:30 pm.  He ran to the field and the rest of us hurried there, only to find that the other team was not there.  I went home to start dinner and the game did indeed begin after 5 pm.  Being the scheduled person I would like to be, this constant changing of game times drives me a little crazy, but I am learning to "go with the flow".  

The team Gabe played on used donated uniforms from a school in America that the adults from Lagossette use when they play, also.  When I walked over to the field I had to laugh because the guys on Gabe's team were at least a head or two smaller than everyone on the other team.  It is obvious that making the teams equal was not a priority.  We talked to Gabe about David and Goliath and just encouraged him to have fun and play his best.  It was a double elimination tournament and they lost one game 1 to 0 and one game 2 to 1 so they did quite well for playing against much older and bigger guys.  

Gabe really enjoyed playing, got to know a few more Haitian boys, and will probably play again on another team soon.  Here are some photos from one of the games.

Four of the team members--they play five on five and have a very small goal.

Getting warmed up

Dan joining in on the fun!

Prayer before the game

A friend and opposing team member

Sugar cane is a popular snack!

They are sitting on the goal, so you can see how small it is!

Meet our "Aunts"

One of the things I was dreading when we moved to Haiti was sharing my home, and more specifically my kitchen, with other women.  I consider myself a fairly private person and I like my space.  I love to spend time with people and talk and laugh and get to know others, but then I like to retreat and be quiet.  I was not nearly as nervous about caring for five extra children as I was getting to know five Haitian women.  I was nervous about the language barrier, how we would do things, how we would deal with differences, and what our relationships would be like.  The first time I met the two women that were to be our main two "tants" as we call them, I really liked them, but was still very nervous.  How would this work?  What if our personalities were way too different?  What if I could never communicate with them?

Our first few weeks were rough in that we didn't know much Creole and so much of the time we couldn't even communicate with one another.  The aunts work 24 hour shifts so I started to relish the time that the two that were working would leave and the few minutes it took for the two that were coming to get here.  It was the only time I could have in my kitchen without people looking over my shoulder.  It was silly, because it was only a few minutes, but I really did love it.

One of the things I really loved in the States was to prepare healthy, good meals for my family.  I loved planning meals for the week and using different ingredients and trying new recipes.  Now I had to plan meals for fourteen people every day and try to talk with the aunts about what they liked and wanted to prepare when I didn't even know what was all available and the words for many of the foods.  This was one of my most challenging adjustments to living in Haiti.  I took two of the aunts with me to market one day and had no idea what some of the things they were buying were.  I was not used to the conditions you walk through and how you barter and the condition the meat is in.  It was stressful and I was not looking forward to the process of buying food and preparing meals every day.

I also had to figure out how to manage the household.  Who would do what chores: Bathing and feeding children, putting them to bed, washing dishes, preparing meals, cleaning, laundry, etc.  How would we do things....obviously we are all different and have been managing our own homes for years.    Their homes are very different than mine.  How would that impact the way they would work here?Now we all needed to work together and compromise.

I can honestly say after several months of working with and living along side these women we have grown to really love one another.  I look forward to seeing them each morning, and really missed them when we were in the States in October.  We laugh together often.  We laugh at the children, at each other, and can even tease one another at times.  Even though my Creole is still very basic, we can communicate most things that we need to function in the home and ask for help when we cannot.  We have cried together and supported one another when struggling.  We help one another and can tell when one of us is tired or not feeling well.  I have met several of their family members, and really love to see them together.  I don't always love the food they prepare, and I am sure they don't always love mine, but we survive together.  They clean differently than I do, but I have learned to be flexible and just be happy that things are done.  We have found a way to make things work even when we might do things differently.  We are a family that functions through the good and the bad.

Just recently Dan and I took each of the women that works in our home out for lunch.  It was such a great time of fun and great conversation.  We took our friend Toto along so he could help us translate.  We talked about their Christmas traditions and their families.  We enjoyed eating together without having to help children and talking with no interruptions.  It was fun to see them get dressed up and have a special day out.  We prayed together and laughed a lot.  We gave them each a Christmas gift and they in turn told me that they all wanted to come together to get the kitchen ready for Christmas.  They cleaned and scrubbed together and blessed us so much.

When I think about the day when we will one day leave Haiti, I know that these women will be among the top reasons that I will struggle.  Our hearts have been knit together in a way I didn't expect.  They love my family even though they see us at our worst and they have worked so hard to make this home run smoothly.  I love them and I told them the day that we took them to lunch that I didn't know I would love them as much as I do.  They in turn shared that even though the work is harder in our home than in the baby house, they love working together as a family.  Here are a couple of pictures from that day.

Tant Zazou, Tant Monia, Tant Evane, Tant Isline, Tant Lunise