Refreshed

As many of you know, we took a break this past week.  We were feeling tired, overwhelmed with the responsibility of the ten children in our care, and needing some time to enjoy our immediate family.  We had some difficulty deciding on where to go due to some problems with traveling in certain parts of Haiti right now, so we ended up staying fairly close to our home in Lagossette.  We have been to the beach several times, but have never stayed the night.  It was beautiful, quiet, and a huge blessing to our family.

We decided at the beginning of our time that Dan and I would each spend at least one hour of "special time" with each of our children during the week.  It didn't seem like it would be difficult with four days to do it in, but that is ten hours outside of the family time, meals, naps, and sleeping and we got it in, but just in the very last minutes of our stay!  Even though we try to do some of this at home, it was really fun to do it  in this environment.  I played basketball, volleyball, swam, watched the sunrise, had coffee drinks or cokes, read, journaled, and hunted for crabs.  I loved hearing their hearts on things and being able to just look one child in the eye and not have to worry about anyone else at that time.

When we weren't spending time with one child we were hanging out with the others, laying on the beach, swimming, taking walks, reading, and eating two meals a day that we didn't have to prepare!  Dan played several games of baseball with the boys, which they all enjoyed.  We also met some people and were able to talk to people from several different countries.  I wanted to share some photos, and then I have a few more thoughts to share!

I wanted to share a few things that made me think about our time here in Haiti while we were on vacation.

First, on our first dinner there at least two of the children commented that they miss having dinner like that as a family.  We all eat "together" much of the time at the Grace House but as I am sure you can imagine, with ten children and six of them being toddlers, there isn't a lot of conversation being had around our table.  It usually entails a few "don't do thats" and "eat your food" and crying and spilling and requests for more and refusals to eat.  Not real conducive to a family chat.  I am glad that they miss it, because Dan and I do also.  We have resolved to attempt to have a family dinner more often and really sit and chat with each other.

The second thing I have thought about happened at dinner, also.  One of the children commented on how they missed one of our Haitian kids, and it was only the second day we were gone.  They all began to talk about all of the children and tell funny stories about them and guess as to what they were doing at that time.  Sometimes I get stressed about how many kids are in this house and that I don't spend enough time with any of them.  I think about what my kids might be missing out on because we don't do as many things with them as we would like to.  Never once have any of our children complained about us having to deal with so many needs with our Haitian kids.  They have never said that it would be easier without them.  I attribute that entirely to  God's grace.  They have parents who get stressed and overwhelmed, yet they have never blamed that on the other kids in the house.  They love them and spend time with them and miss them when we are away from them.  I know that it will be very difficult to say goodbye to each of these precious children, but I am so glad that ours have had the opportunity to love and care for them.

Now that I think about it, every one of the things I have been thinking about began with our eating together.  Jadyn commented that she felt a little awkward eating so much during dinner when she didn't know if the Haitian people serving it to us had anything to eat in their homes.  I had just been thinking the same thing.  It has led me to so many thoughts about our place in this country and how we help and how we cause others to want, and what God wants us to do about that.  I don't want to feel guilty when I enjoy good food, and I do not think we should.  I also do not want to take it for granted and I want to share and give when appropriate.  We struggle every day with this issue and people ask us for help for things that are worthy at least once per week.  How do we help?  What is helpful?  What help hinders? How do we offend when we don't understand the culture?  What about the women that work in our home?  What about our friends that live outside our gates?  What do they REALLY think of us?  I ultimately believe that it only matters what God thinks and what He wants us to do, but Dan and I have wrestled with that over and over and haven't come up with an answer that fits each situation, yet.  I have a feeling we never will during our time on earth.  Right now I am grateful that my daughter noticed this and thinks about it.  I don't have any pat answers to give her, but I am grateful for her exposure to these people and that she will begin to wrestle with this, also.

This is what we do know.  We are in Haiti because God called us here.  He made it clear that we should come.   Our responsibilities lie with our children and the Haitian children placed in our care.  Deuteronomy 6: 4-7.  "Hear, O Israel:The Lord our God, the Lord is one.  You shall love the Lord you God with all your heart, and with all your soul and with all your might.  And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart.  You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise."  We are also responsible to live out the gospel every day.  Display the fruit of the Spirit, talk about what Jesus did for us to those we meet, pray with and for our Haitian friends and for this country and our native land, also.  Micah 6:8  "He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God."

A Date!

Dan and I went on a date tonight!! When we lived in the States we tried to be intentional about getting out together and focusing on our marriage every so often.  It is more difficult to do that here, but it is getting easier, at least for a while.  We have a young lady named Bailey at COTP right now and one of her roles is to help with the children of long term volunteers.  I get to homeschool two mornings a week without a toddler...something I have never done in all my years of homeschooling.  It is a blessing.  She is also giving us a date night once a month....another major blessing!  As we drove and talked, I had wished that I had taken my camera.  So many sights I can pay more attention to when we don't have children or a full vehicle of people.  I will try to give you a short snap shot of our date, despite the lack of pictures.

We rushed around to get ready to go out so that we could leave early enough to be back around the time it gets dark here, which is around 6 or 6:30pm.  We had forgotten to ask for a vehicle, so quickly emailed and found out we could take one.  Something we didn't have to worry about before Haiti!  Then I chatted with Bailey about babysitting.  She could take our kids somewhere or she would need to be here with all ten kids and the aunts.  She decided to stay here, so that meant she needed to make food for thirteen people.....a volunteer group had left us a huge package of Ramen, so that was what I suggested would be easiest.  Not the healthiest, but what can you ask of someone willing to take on the craziness of our house?

Then I went to chat with the aunts about us leaving and they were both in the rooms napping with the babies.  I decided instead of waking them, I would just go find Jadyn and ask her to explain it to them later.  Details, details.

After being informed that our vehicle had changed, and chatting with a few people about a phone that didn't work and some other things, we were off. The roads are difficult to describe.  So incredibly bumpy and rough, you feel like you need a massage after just a few minutes.  We used to ride in the back of vehicles though, so really grateful that we were in a really nice vehicle with padded seats!  On our way we saw many people walking their cows and goats home...and one cute little guy who seemed to have lost his shorts, but was faithfully plodding along with his three goats.  We talked about the things we love about Haiti...the slower pace of life the Haitians seem to enjoy, the beauty of the countryside, the lack of materialism in many ways.  We passed through a few small villages and people often wave hello.

  As we neared Cap Haitian the traffic picked up and we noticed different things.  People pile on motos, on tap taps, and the back of trucks.  There are virtually no traffic laws.  There are people everywhere selling things from fruit and vegetables, fresh meat hanging from trees, clothes, shoes, wood, metal, water, etc.  

We arrived at our restaurant ready for a nice meal and conversation, just the two of us.  We ordered pizza and a cheeseburger....how is that for American fare?  We enjoyed being able to talk uninterrupted for a whole hour.  We talked about our life here and what it would be like to go back to the United States.  We discussed our children and how difficult it will be for them to say goodbye to the Haitian children that are in our care right now.  Dan loves to ask me to rate things from 1 to 10, so we did a little of that regarding places we would like to live.  It is interesting to listen to mostly Creole being spoken all around you.  Fun to try to catch what people are trying to say, but mostly I just pick up words I know and can not follow quickly enough.  No eavesdropping tonight!  The food was great and the company even better.

We left the restaurant with plenty of time to get home before dark.  However, traffic seemed to be especially busy tonight.  We sat still several times, but it just made it easier to watch everything that was happening all around us.  People arguing with police officers directing traffic, a man stepping out in front of our vehicle like he owned the road, a teen on roller blades who I was sure was going to get hit as he wove in and out of tap taps and motos.  We talked about the difficult things in Haiti while we rode....the things people face, the difficult living conditions, the heartache.  

Once again, we traveled the bumpy, puddle filled road home to Lagossette.  A few men had gotten a late start in herding their cows and goats home for the night, and several people watching traffic, as we often see.  We made it home a little later than we expected, but everyone seemed to have survived.  We worshipped together as a family when we returned and the children piled on our laps and fought over us as if we had been gone for days.  As I cleared my bed of laundry while getting the children ready for bed, I noticed a dead spider.  One less bite I will get as I sleep tonight!  It is good to be home. 

Futbol

One thing we have enjoyed doing during our time here in Haiti is attending many "futbol" or soccer games.  There is a field right across from the road from COTP so we go there often, and we have also traveled to a few other villages to watch friends play.  Before Christmas a tournament was planned for adult males and teams played every night for about two weeks.  Our aunts and children love to go also, so almost every evening several people from the Grace House could be found at the soccer field.  One thing we have learned is that the games rarely begin when they say they will begin, so you have to try to guess when is the right time to go so that you aren't sitting around waiting for the game to start, but you don't miss most of the game either.  Gabe is now our resident "check the status of the game" guy and he runs up to the field to report to us whether the teams are there or not.  

The week between Christmas and New Years another tournament began.  This tournament was for boys ages 10 to 20.  Yes, quite an age gap.  Gabe was asked to play on a team and he was so excited.  He became diligent with his practice, and would play with anyone who would play with him, including our aunts.  

The day came for his first game and we were told it would begin at 5 pm.  We were on a walk with some friends and some boys from his team came to find us, saying it was time to play at around 3:30 pm.  He ran to the field and the rest of us hurried there, only to find that the other team was not there.  I went home to start dinner and the game did indeed begin after 5 pm.  Being the scheduled person I would like to be, this constant changing of game times drives me a little crazy, but I am learning to "go with the flow".  

The team Gabe played on used donated uniforms from a school in America that the adults from Lagossette use when they play, also.  When I walked over to the field I had to laugh because the guys on Gabe's team were at least a head or two smaller than everyone on the other team.  It is obvious that making the teams equal was not a priority.  We talked to Gabe about David and Goliath and just encouraged him to have fun and play his best.  It was a double elimination tournament and they lost one game 1 to 0 and one game 2 to 1 so they did quite well for playing against much older and bigger guys.  

Gabe really enjoyed playing, got to know a few more Haitian boys, and will probably play again on another team soon.  Here are some photos from one of the games.

Four of the team members--they play five on five and have a very small goal.

Getting warmed up

Dan joining in on the fun!

Prayer before the game

A friend and opposing team member

Sugar cane is a popular snack!

They are sitting on the goal, so you can see how small it is!

Meet our "Aunts"

One of the things I was dreading when we moved to Haiti was sharing my home, and more specifically my kitchen, with other women.  I consider myself a fairly private person and I like my space.  I love to spend time with people and talk and laugh and get to know others, but then I like to retreat and be quiet.  I was not nearly as nervous about caring for five extra children as I was getting to know five Haitian women.  I was nervous about the language barrier, how we would do things, how we would deal with differences, and what our relationships would be like.  The first time I met the two women that were to be our main two "tants" as we call them, I really liked them, but was still very nervous.  How would this work?  What if our personalities were way too different?  What if I could never communicate with them?

Our first few weeks were rough in that we didn't know much Creole and so much of the time we couldn't even communicate with one another.  The aunts work 24 hour shifts so I started to relish the time that the two that were working would leave and the few minutes it took for the two that were coming to get here.  It was the only time I could have in my kitchen without people looking over my shoulder.  It was silly, because it was only a few minutes, but I really did love it.

One of the things I really loved in the States was to prepare healthy, good meals for my family.  I loved planning meals for the week and using different ingredients and trying new recipes.  Now I had to plan meals for fourteen people every day and try to talk with the aunts about what they liked and wanted to prepare when I didn't even know what was all available and the words for many of the foods.  This was one of my most challenging adjustments to living in Haiti.  I took two of the aunts with me to market one day and had no idea what some of the things they were buying were.  I was not used to the conditions you walk through and how you barter and the condition the meat is in.  It was stressful and I was not looking forward to the process of buying food and preparing meals every day.

I also had to figure out how to manage the household.  Who would do what chores: Bathing and feeding children, putting them to bed, washing dishes, preparing meals, cleaning, laundry, etc.  How would we do things....obviously we are all different and have been managing our own homes for years.    Their homes are very different than mine.  How would that impact the way they would work here?Now we all needed to work together and compromise.

I can honestly say after several months of working with and living along side these women we have grown to really love one another.  I look forward to seeing them each morning, and really missed them when we were in the States in October.  We laugh together often.  We laugh at the children, at each other, and can even tease one another at times.  Even though my Creole is still very basic, we can communicate most things that we need to function in the home and ask for help when we cannot.  We have cried together and supported one another when struggling.  We help one another and can tell when one of us is tired or not feeling well.  I have met several of their family members, and really love to see them together.  I don't always love the food they prepare, and I am sure they don't always love mine, but we survive together.  They clean differently than I do, but I have learned to be flexible and just be happy that things are done.  We have found a way to make things work even when we might do things differently.  We are a family that functions through the good and the bad.

Just recently Dan and I took each of the women that works in our home out for lunch.  It was such a great time of fun and great conversation.  We took our friend Toto along so he could help us translate.  We talked about their Christmas traditions and their families.  We enjoyed eating together without having to help children and talking with no interruptions.  It was fun to see them get dressed up and have a special day out.  We prayed together and laughed a lot.  We gave them each a Christmas gift and they in turn told me that they all wanted to come together to get the kitchen ready for Christmas.  They cleaned and scrubbed together and blessed us so much.

When I think about the day when we will one day leave Haiti, I know that these women will be among the top reasons that I will struggle.  Our hearts have been knit together in a way I didn't expect.  They love my family even though they see us at our worst and they have worked so hard to make this home run smoothly.  I love them and I told them the day that we took them to lunch that I didn't know I would love them as much as I do.  They in turn shared that even though the work is harder in our home than in the baby house, they love working together as a family.  Here are a couple of pictures from that day.

Tant Zazou, Tant Monia, Tant Evane, Tant Isline, Tant Lunise

"Cold weather" pictures

Some of the other international staff assured me a while back that there would be times when it would be cold enough to wear "footie pajamas".  I was skeptical but said, "sure, bring some over".  It has been pleasantly cool in the evenings for a few weeks now.  It still is quite warm during the day, but overall quite comfortable.  Definitely the best time of year to live in Haiti.  (If you want to schedule a visit for next year, do it for this time of year!)  Anyway, I am still quite comfortable in my shorts and tshirts most evenings, and once in a while I pull my blanket on for a couple of hours in the night.  Otherwise it is great with just a sheet.

The other night, after all the Willis children had bathed and put on their shorts for bed....the boys without shirts, Dan and I were helping with baths for our Haitian kids and the aunts broke out the sleepers.  Wow.  Sleepers.  I think it had to be between 75 and 80 degrees....and after helping eight kids get their baths, I was sweating.  But I went along with it because they looked so cute!!!  And Zion Hope wanted warm pajamas so I dug a pair out for her.  I even made our aunts hot chocolate later that evening.  I took some photos because who knows how many times this will happen.....hopefully several more before it gets too hot again!  Enjoy!

 They were all trying to convince Paco to smile....Loudena and Zion are forever "mothering" all the boys, and I am pretty sure Jacob and Fritzlin were joining in for this picture.

Zeke is giving you all the "peace" sign.  

Isaiah often goes to Paco even before me in the morning.  He loves to make Paco laugh and smile.

 After worship in the evening, Dan often ends up on the floor with a child or ten on top of him.

They look pretty happy in their cozy pj's!!!

Post by Jadyn Grace

                                              




I (Jadyn) have been wanting to write a blog post for quite some time now, but I have been very busy and I guess it just hasn't been on the top of my list. 

One   of my favorite hobbies here is doing art  and activities with the kids. Last week, one of the volunteers brought over a box of therapy activities for the kids. The box contained homemade therapy balls, puzzles, straws, and lots of other things. One of the kids' favorite things was the flubber. Fritzlin and Loudena loved it.  Jacob was not so sure of it until I started rubbing it on his fingers.........I think he liked the coolness of it.  Ezechiel probably loved it the most out of all of them. He kept squishing it between his fingers  Paco absolutely hated it and screamed every time we touched him with it. He had NOTHING to do with it!  Overall, I think it was a big hit. Thank you to all of the people who put together that box of fun! -                             

        

Hope of Heaven

Many of you know that we named our youngest daughter Zion Hope to remind us of the hope we have in heaven.  We know that although we were created to live life to the fullest here on earth, this is not our home.  Our home is in heaven where we will live forever in perfect peace.  We have three babies waiting for us there and countless family and friends.  The truth of our desire for heaven is becoming more and more apparent as we live in Haiti.  Not necessarily because we have encountered more death, but because of the relationships that come and go on a very regular basis.

When we lived in the States we did have to say goodbye to people from time to time.  We had moved to Lake City as a family, but were still fairly close to Grand Rapids.  The goodbyes never seemed as final as they do here.  Volunteers, adoptive families, and other people come to visit COTP on a regular basis.  Children go home to be with their forever families.  Sometimes it feels like we are bonding with people and building relationships, only to say "goodbye" much too soon.  I had been feeling it this week, and then Malachi, our seven year old, expressed it also.  "It feels like people just keep falling out of my life."  This past week alone he said goodbye to a boy that was here to volunteer with his family, one of his "favorite" baby house children who went home with her forever family, her brothers who he played with while they were here, and one of his close friends who also went home with his new forever family.  He loves people deeply, and struggles with missing friends and family back home, and then also saying goodbye to new friends.  While we realize that we will indeed see some of these people again, in reality we will not connect with many of them this side of heaven.  We meet so many people we would love to have close relationships with but we know that we will likely never live near most of them.  

We have developed close relationships with the aunts that work in our home, and they see us every day in the good and in the bad.  They probably know us better than many of you!  I still don't love having people in my home 24 hours a day, but I have grown to love these women and we have laughed and cried together despite our language barrier.  

We are also very aware that as we grow closer and closer in relationship with the children we are caring for, it will get more and more difficult to say goodbye to them.  They are precious to us and as we experience highs and lows with them, we pray that they will soon be able to experience those things with their forever families.  Please pray with us that those families will hear God's calling on them to consider adoption.  

As you pray for us we would love you to pray for our relationships to be sweet and our fellowship to be honoring to God.  We know that there will be many goodbyes, but we are so grateful for the people God places in our lives.